Lost words.

“So how’s you been?”she said with a smile.” I’m not fine I need a saving this time said the inner voice.  “I’m fine”  he said with a gesture. “why you act so weird these days. It’s like  you never acted this strange.” Weird feeling you know. Right now I’m falling for your smile. Your way of standing. Everything about you is making me speechless said my inner voices. “Yeah I’m not feeling well these days. So acting a bit weirdly. ” “Can we talk more we haven’t had a conversation from a long time.” she said in the most sweetest of her voice. I can talk like this for eternity. Don’t you see it in my eyes. I crave for your presence. How can you not see anything. “Yes,  we can talk I’m free for a while.” he said in a hesitating voice. “So you seeing out someone? Or having a crush on someone?”  she said in the normal way making it much more harder for me.  Yes, I’ve had a crush on you since I was in my senses about love. I had a crush on your mind and a crush on your eyes. I had a crush on your crazy thoughts and your late night talks said my inner voices. “No! I mean no I don’t have a crush on anyone. Yes I wanted to talk to this girl but then I gave up.” he said to change the topic instantly. “So how’s your boyfriend I heard you had a breakup. He was a nice guy”  he said.  “Hmm”  she said. “What I can get out of this hmm of yours?”  I don’t want to talk about this but I can’t just let go of this moment said my inner voice. “Hey I wanted to ask you if you are free later tonight we’ll talk” she said timidly. Yes! I’m always free for you said my inner voices. “okay you’ll call though.”he said “Of course I will. I’ll go my car has arrived. It was nice talking to you.” she said with the biggest of smile. She was always this way. Don’t go said me inner voices.  “bye”  he said.

The worst feeling you know comes when you have soo much to speak but you can’t utter a single word. I mean days and nights thinking about something to happen and not doing anything when that thing is finally infront of you. Its haunting. Maybe there’s much more to life and maybe everyone says it’s soo easy to move on even if it was a dream all this time but can’t be life simple. Atleast for an Introvert who never spoke a word to her love,  can’t she see that she is wanted in his life more that anything else. Yes she is running with someone else right now but maybe she isn’t even sure why she is this way. You know I’ve not loved her since I was born but I loved her since the day my love senses were born.

Her slightest of touches and heaviest of breaths. I don’t fall for her presence. I love her absence. The way she takes her eyes of me when she knows I’ve been looking at her. To make me feel that I’m not wanted in her life anymore. That’s the beauty of the moment is. I can fast forward it all but I was always play it in slow motion. Those searching eyes never found a traveler until you laid your home in it. The moment of impact. The time when everything changes. When stars guide you to her and she guides you home. I don’t fall for her sometimes. But I do fall for her everytime.

Faces I’ve seen so many,

Never found someone like you, Irony.

The nights I’ve lost myself in,

The nights you came and saved me like a gin.

Magic is something you have a Mastery in,

Magic so fascinating that makes me love you from deep within.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. mini says:

    A month…long tym huh…


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