About time.

f41170ceb676bcd9c714627e7c1047b6How fast can time change everything. Did we change or we just adapt to the situations around us. Sometimes I do feel like calling someone out and tell them “Hi! You are damn important to me.” But I can’t because time changed it all. Why I still look at those screenshots I took and curse myself for not stopping you from leaving my side. Did I stop making efforts or time just changed it all for me. How I became such a deep thinker when the only thing that went through my mind was how to out shine and score good in my exams. Did I just lose my childhood in the big fat expectations of this world. Or did I just loose myself in order to prove my worth to you? Time heals all right. But what if time is the thing that is making all your cuts deep scars. I wasn’t like this. I started hating myself in the process of loving you. The pieces of me dripped off my hands and I couldn’t do anything just stare. Did time change or did I adapt to what it made me. Didn’t I try to convince myself from that day when you said you are in love with someone. I tried to tell myself that it’s not worth fighting. Fighting a war with your thoughts and the reality. Do the stars loose their brightness with passing time? Do people really change or they just pretend to. I haven’t changed from the day I realized you went with someone else. I was trying back then. I try still. I fall for yours words back then, I fall for them now as well. I wish time changed me like it did to people around me. The fights, the silence, the dreams.

I stopped telling stories to people around me. I stopped talking to people. I watched them go and tell me to stay there. I watched them laugh and live without me. Was it time that did all that damage? When she was the one the promised me to stay there was did she never walk down that path ever again? Did she loose her path? Did she forgot that someone is waiting down there?  People say miracles do happen if you believe in them. Miracle happen every day when I get to see your face or get to have a conversation with you. I realized that I turned out to be the exact desperate, Idiot that you always hated. You told me how guys texted you or pleaded you to be friends with them and how much you hated that. I became one of those guys. Time did that?! or it was just me that is to be blamed for not moving on from that very day. Would I be a better person? should I leave it to time and just stand there or should I fight for what I want and get it? Will I ever get my reasons to just leave the way I’m traveling right now and go to a place where there is no existence of the feelings I have for you. Will time make me forget you? or will time make me carve for you. Will time ever let us be together or the moment we had was more than enough. I want answers from You. Someone who cares but doesn’t care. Someone who loves but never loved. Someone who hides the tears in the brightest smiles. Someone I love the most. Someone as important as time. Someone like you maybe.

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