Honest. 

So do you think that honesty changes people? 

For me it surely does change our life. How you perceive it and how you lived after listening to those honest words. Words that destroyed things. Things that are going good are ruined just by mere words. How can you not be honest to someone you love?  I wish I was that honest enough. Didn’t I made you realize that when I was I saying “I don’t love you anymore and it’s over” I was lying. Didn’t you feel that I lied everytime I smiled saying I don’t love you anymore. The feels. It hurted. It killed my soul.  I wish I had honestly told you that maybe I can’t live without you and you are the only thing that I crave for. Wasn’t I honest when I was with you so as to make you realize that maybe I was lying when I said all those words I didn’t say.

“It’s not working out for us. Sorry.”

“I hate you. Please go away. ”

” I don’t miss you now.” 

“Your existence hardly matters. “

You said all these words. Didn’t you? 

Where you honest? Did you mean what you said. I didn’t. I wish you were not honest. I wish you lied to me. I wish you held on to us. Does honesty hurts? It does. You can’t keep you promise just on a thread of lie. I can’t. I won’t lie to you. I never did. Apart from when we both were fighting to prove each other superior in loving each other and when I saw you happy with someone else. Do we have to prove each other that we loved? I wish I was in love with your presence rather than falling for your absence everyday. Your absence. Like mist surrounds me. See what being honest did to us. Did our past made us what we are. Or we were too sure of breaking up.  I still feel we held on to that small bit of hopes we had. Wish we didn’t give up on out present rather than expecting a good future. We were honest in present. We lied to our past. We lied to our future. We were lying. We where lying to our presence and lying to our memories. Were we ever honest? I wasn’t. I lied saying  I didn’t love you. I kept quite. 

I wish we were honest. To our memories, to our love and to our feelings. Rather than lying our feelings out. 

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