All over again.

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“Get over her. She’s just a girl. Many will come.” his friend said patting on his shoulder.
“Yeah she is JUST A GIRL.” he said with a smile.
“Am I saying something wrong?”his friend asked.
“NO did I say anything?” he said in a frustrated voice.
“Say then speak it out.” his friend said with a smile.
“You say move on? Move on from what? Lies,memories,broken promises, future planning, laughs, shared clothing, wild dreams, late night counting stars? Move on from what child like faces, running and jumping around,holding hands,kissing her forehead,loving her? She already did move on a long time ago. I remember her say I will be the one who will last longer in this relationship. Where is she now? All she gave me is lasting memories that will haunt me for a long time and a lasting voice that will eat up all the thoughts that I had, which will be questioning me, and my potential. Which will just leave me in silence for a little longer. I feel numb sometimes, not because I’ve seen to much of it but because every time I break I have to start all over again. By picking myself and dragging all those scattered pieces hoping for someone to come and help me joining them in perfect match and then breaking it again. I say moving on isn’t tough. What’s tough is holding on to those tiny specs of hopes that Rome in the darkness of your thoughts like fireflies. What’s tough is hearing your voice everyday and still trying not to love you anymore, What’s tough is acting like I don’t know you anymore and be fine with who I’m. What’s tough is being me again when all I was told was I’m more of you and less of me. I fixed you right? I reminded you of things that you love then why you hate me now? Why everyone says move on and why not hold on? Why we say you will find someone better when You know what’s best for you. Why people lie to each other and give each other false hopes about how life is so good on the other side. Why people don’t say “Hey stay there for her she needs you or Hey hold on she will come back soon”. Why can people who love each other never end up being together? Why we have to start all over again? From the beginning. We started with a wild-fire and ended up in ashes, being so vulnerable that slightest of winds blows away our hopes. Why I have to plan everything with someone else all over again when I know I won’t ever plan anything like I did it with you. Why it’s so tough to hold on? Why can’t we just be on each other’s side for the rest of our lives loving like kids and caring like grownups. Why we built castles of hopes on clouds of miseries? Why we become to sure about it not breaking like everything else. Why we always hope others to pick us up? Why is she not here to listen to all this? Why all she said was some words filled with utter hatred which she never meant to say and why I lost a small piece of me with every word that came out of her talking mouth. Why I have to start from the end again to write a new beginning? Why is she the only place that is the coldest yet the warmest place where my heart resides? I don’t want to start all over again. I want to feel the pain of watching her go in front of my eyes. I want her to see how much I want her. Maybe she will feel that I’m too weak to move on but maybe I’m just to strong to hold on. Hold on to those words that she uttered while being happy, holding on to her eyes that catch every falling breath of mine. I don’t want to start all over again just because I want to forget her. I don’t want to start all over again just to show her I can do it. I don’t want to start all over again because my world stops revolving around the galaxies of infinite possibilities and endless emotions when she isn’t around. Tell me it’s worth it won’t you? Tell me more reasons to give up and I’ll tell you twice as many to live it up to you cuz I don’t want it all over again. ” he said with a sigh.
“If I was her I would’ve had kept you forever.” his friend said poking him.
“yeah.” he smiled.

 

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