I can feel a distance of thousand suns,
Like this race has just begun,
I can feel my hands shivering in fears,
Like it’s all coming back from past years,
I glance at you in a hope of revival,
Yet I just think of a mere survival,
Like the moon will lose it’s shine one day,
Like the world won’t make it past its dooms day,
Can you tell me how long I have to wait,
Because this love makes me lose my faith.
“Should I text her?”I ask myself.
“Like you have listened to what I say to you right?” A voice came banging from inside.
“But I can make it alright” I said in a sad tone.
“Like you always made it alright? For God sake don’t text her long messages. It hurts inside when you text her everything and all you get is a “last seen at “. Why so stubborn?” Voice replied.
“Why so stubborn? Because I’ve heard it so many times that the things that are meant to be with you will always be there with you. And I can’t bear this distance between us. I feel like miles and miles of dessert still I make a move to get something out of it. Because I can’t let her go away without trying everything I have.” I said
“You have anything? Like love left ? Why you name it love? Is love so easily lost and so hard to find? I mean look at you and look at her. Love separates people to an extent they don’t even recognise each other or pretend that they are perfect strangers with their shared packets of forevers and endless promises which they have made . How can love demand nothing yet takes away everything from you?” Voice with utmost rage.
“Have you ever seen her smile?”I said
“Have you ever tried to touch her hands as she gets closer to you? Have you ever felt so lost in her deep black eyes that almost drown in them. Her scent so fresh like winds that pass through a garden of roses. Have you ever been this fallen in love that minutes of being with her feels like millenniums of infinities. Have you ever held her in your arms and felt like the entire universe in your arms. I close my eyes and I see her beside me. I don’t see her when I open my eyes. How tragic it is that I’ve spent my entire lifetime with someone I longer get to see or get to touch or get to feel. All I do is replay the voice memos she sent me on my birthday or the picture collage she sent me. I’ve been looking at them for days, weeks, months and even years. It has all passed by now and I have heard those memos soo many times I know what will come next. Still I wait eagerly for her to say those things and smile like an idiot. I sense you are right but I sense you are totally wrong as well. I know I’m not the one but I know I won’t give up on the fact of being the last one.
I’ve read this quote in a movie.
How can one step away from you be the step in the wrong direction.
I’ve missed her. Don’t you see that? ” I said crying to myself.
“But.” A voice came from inside.
“What but?” I uttered
” Love is something that I won’t ever understand” voice said.
“Why are you crying again?” Mom shouted.
“Well she knows what love is.” I said whispering.
“Wait I’ll tell you more about love.” Mom said slapping on my head.
“No way she heard that. Damn mom. ” I said smiling.
” You never loved me she said,
I always loved you he shouted,
Then why you left me she asked,
Because it was meant to be he remarked,
Is this what love means now I ask,
How trivial this love and it’s so dark,
But the god came down to me,
And held me to let me see,
How love means trying you heart out,
And forgetting about this chaos and drought,
Because love means trying,
And love is also a little bit of dying.