I haven’t been questioned by you,
Why didn’t you ask me “How are you?”
I haven’t been missed by you,
Why didn’t you ask me “Where were you?”
I haven’t been loved by you,
Why didn’t you ask me “Do you love me too?”
Will you not stop me,
To run away in the blues?
Will you not tell me,
You need me too?
Did I lie to you?
I wish I wasn’t this true.
An Introvert feels things. You have to watch it. They lie? Let me tell you they don’t lie but they don’t have the courage to tell the truth as well.
And then they say life happened to them. What life? I mean like were you not a part of my life? I see you playing around and fooling things like they never exist in the first place. But why life happened to us? There are so many people around the globe but why “US”? I ask you this thing rather than asking anyone else. Yes to the one reading it. Did I lie to you? Did I ever not tell you or have the courage to say to you that I can’t act normal every time we see each other? Or maybe you aren’t even a part of my life anymore at that moment. What went wrong?! Like think! Because I want to ask you this. I want to know why we are still together or why we parted our ways. Was it your fault or was it mine? I want to know everything you never told anyone. Because I want to hear it from you. I want to know about everything that drives you crazy or why you love something so tremendously. Why you fall in love with someone who makes small efforts for you or why you hate someone instantly if they did something reluctant or opposite to what you expected them to do? Because I want to know about you. I want to know about your miserable nights and crazy fights. I want to know about your parents and everyone you love. I want to know everything that’s on your mind. Because I don’t Lie to you. I don’t want to hurt you with things that don’t get along well. I don’t want to ruin your expectations like I did with everyone else before you. Tell me one thing? Why are you still there reading this? Have I done something wrong or you just went through this random post scrolling down the feeds? Or you read these things intentionally? Because if you say you like what I write then please don’t do that. I’m just like you. I’m someone who never really got a chance to come up. Lost and thinking. I’m definitely way too good at goodbyes but I’ll definitely wait for you from dusk till dawn if you want me to. I’m not a liar though. If I’ll love you, you will have search it. That doesn’t and never means I don’t love you. I won’t ever show it to you. But I’ll definitely tell you take care and have fun with your life. And I’ll get damn possessive if I see you hanging out with someone who is not me. I’ll sit in the corner and observe I won’t say anything. I won’t hold your hands in public but will definitely slap you in the same public if you do something really wrong. I won’t hug you in your happiest times(don’t mind if I do) but I’ll definitely hold you tight when you are weak and someone ruined your thinking about life. I’ll never be your showman but I’ll be your side crew. You will be the one on stage and I’ll guide you to the best of your life episodes. I’ll help you bitch about your ex-lover or I’ll make you feel jealous at times. I’ll do everything to make you happy, but I won’t lie to you . I’ll say if you are wrong. I will trust me. I’ll say I texted my crush again or I’ll tell you all of my moods swings. I’ll just say it if you want me to. I’m hard I know but please try. Try to notice me. Try to catch up with me at times. I’m weak and I’m the strongest. I’ll be your armour and your ammunition and your shoulder to cry on. I’m a better me. Someone who’s worth it. Someone who tries. But don’t give up on me this easily. If you’ll do, I hope you won’t regret it in future. But I you regret trust me it gets worst. I’m the hardest to find.
If you see someone like me (don’t go around stalking though) don’t try to act you know everything. Try acting like you know nothing. Maybe I’ll open up.( It will be much more harder than you think though).
“I feel awkward to see you this way
So beautifully dressed like heaven’s pathways,
But I stammer to tell you all this,
It’s so hard to just resist,
If I don’t say anything wait for me to do the same,
because for me it’s never a game,
I’ll try to be loving and true,
but if I fall apart trust me I won’t lie to you.