Eumoirous

Screenshot_20170815-195249_1Does this heart keeps on breaking?

Because my love is still in the making.

This fear of being honest,

This fear of not being the best.

How can we ever look at each other,

When we are lost in our own forever.

I’m never going to  this place,

I’m leaving away no trace.

The nights are too Long,  I’m honest,

I’m putting my love to a test.

Today I’m feeling emoirous,

I’m feeling emoirous. ”

*Phone rings*

“Hello?” he said.

“Hey! Guess who. ” she said in a happy voice.

“I’m too weak in this guessing game, speak up.” he said in a cranky voice.

“Idiot it’s me. How long you take to pick up the call. Never mind I have a big surprise for you. I’m in a relationship.” she said.

“Rela.. What?! I’m so happy for you. So when you both are meeting?” he said while trying to hide his emotions.

“I’ll tell you everything. Let’s meet today at the park. I have a lot to tell you.” she said happily.

“Sure I’ll catch up.”he said.

*phone hung up*

” Wow. And I was planing to tell her I started feeling something about her. Well I guess it’s not meant to be maybe. What can I do for her. Well… I’ll write her a letter. That will do.” he said to himself.

First time.

Hey it’s me. Remember we both always ended up fighting because I kept on talking about girls. You always knew me better than anyone else. And I always told you to wait for the right time. Maybe it has arrived for you. When you finally feel your first time. When you do get to know something called weird feeling. When you do everything yet it feels like you did nothing at all. All I wanted to say is I hope your first time feels like there’s nothing like losing someone. I hope your first time gives you a feeling of a lifetime where you can cherish every sense of emotion. I wish your first time gives you a whole amusement park not just a roller coaster. I hope when you hold hands you feel like he is the one. I hope when you both kiss you feel every emotion running through your mouth. I hope when you laugh you laugh like you laugh when you are with me. I hope you share everything to him like you do with me. I hope you dance your way through the trees holding hands. I hope you jump in the rain and you fight with each other like kids do. I hope your first time feels like nothing but love. When you hold on to everything when nothing falls into piece. When you fall asleep in his arms and he looks at you like I did with a smile on my face. I recall once you said we can end up together. But I was always afraid of losing you. I still I’m. I can’t let you go because you became a whole journey in my life. I’ve never been such high with my emotions, but I do feel that when I talk to you. I can’t lose you because I’m vulnerable. I can’t let go when I love and I don’t want you to go. That’s why I didn’t fall in love with you. I can’t let your first relationship be with someone who is too afraid to lose you. Who isn’t even sure how to love. I can’t afford to make you cry because of me. I can make your dreams come true but I can’t ruin your dreams with a truth. I can hold your hand the entire night but I can’t let go of it for a single second. I can fall for you but I won’t let you fall for someone like me. I can be your Armour but I cant let you lose because of me. I can be your shadow but I won’t let you notice me. You should fall for someone who doesn’t fall for you because only then you’ll realize how worth your first time is. I hope you can cross oceans without me. In case you don’t I’ll be you sail and help you out till the end. I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe we get along laying beside each other. But right now I’m running and I can’t make you run with me. I want you to have someone stable with whom you can call yourself to be home. Someone who can make you feel weird and beautiful. And someone with whom you can die in peace with.

Love

Your other half.      ”

Sighs.

“Hey did we make it the other way?

Or we just kept our sails a stay.

Hey did we fall in love?

Or we just flew away like a dove.

This life is always too long without you.

The days so dark and the nights all blue.

Tell me your stories I’m waiting,

Tell me how to love, I can’t keep dreaming.

 

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Querencia.

Screenshot_20170725-165157-1“Found a piece of me in your eyes tonight,
as we lay beneath the stars,
your head placed on my shoulder just right,
healing my soul,like elixir to my scars.
“It’s perfect isn’t it?” you said with a smile,
I wish it was,
I held you heart you said it’s fragile,
every moment becomes an eternal loss.
My heart found a place to stay,
A querencia out of nowhere,
like my mind believes to live with you like this everyday,
All I do is look at you and smile because it’s all I can say.”

“Soldiers take your positions. We are in the middle of the war. Your life and lives of every other citizen of our country is up to you now. Fight it like it’s all you have.” said the commanding officer to the newly appointed regiment under his control.
“Are you afraid?”,asked the person next to him.
“No really. I’m happy that I finally became someone that can be productive for our country’s good.” he said with a smile.
“That’s really nice of you to think this way.” said the person beside me.
“Let’s fight it like it’s the last thing we can do on this planet.” came a voice from behind. And everyone was filled with overwhelming enthusiasm and urge to fight for their country irrespective of which religion, state or class they were from.
“War is upon us badly. You all have been called to the battle field. Hope you can make it safely back to the base and make our country proud.” said the commanding officer.
“Let’s go go go!” said a voice from behind.

 

“We are surrounded by enemies from either sides. We have no where to go expect to fight for our lives and die.” said the captain of the regiment.
“We’ll die with honor.” and everyone went to die. One after the other. Shots being fired. Men screaming and shouting. People dying. Blood streams all over the place.
It was up to him at last. Everyone else had sacrificed their lives for nations good. He took aback. And placed himself behind the bushes. He closed his eyes.
“Daddy! Daddy? wake up. Did you forget that we have to go to my school for the annual fest? Daddy fast!” came a voice from the faint memories he held inside his mind.
“Daddy! When will mom come back?” the child said innocently.
“Soon my dear.” he said.
As he said it in his mind tears rolled down his cheeks. He was all red not with blood but with the memories that came running down his cheek at that moment. He was smiling and crying at the same time. He lost his wife as she gave birth to their angelic daughter . Since then he took care of her like a mother. His daughter was the one he loved the most. He loved her with utmost possession, like no one can ever make his daughter feel like the way he did. He knew he has to die. To keep her safe somewhere in those towns where people are eyeing on him to save them. Emotions where cruising through him. Every breath he took made his heart more heavier than ever.
“Daddy? Will you ever leave me?” child said in the most innocent voice.
“Never child.” he said.
“Then why are you going?”child said.
“To save you.” he said with a smile.
He sensed enemy approaching him. He wiped his tears. He knew no one could love his daughter like him, but for her safety he picked up his gun, closed his eyes and said to himself, “I’m sorry child. I’ll bring back mom soon.”
A shot in his heart and he was bleeding to death. As he looked upon the black sky that night as he was dying, he thought to himself how bad father he was leaving his child alone. And then he reminded himself of the starry night when he was in love with his wife. He was crying as he was dying, and all he prayed was “Never give war to people in this world” and closed his eyes to blend into this forever world of memories.

“My querencia, her voice.
And when we promised our eternity,
God smiled at his own choice,
That even eternities end before reaching infinity.
Maybe we had the wrong idea about this longing,
I guess it’s as short as our promises,
That’s why we ended up dying,
In our own world of ruined ashes.
I raised my hand to reach hers,
I raised my heart to touch hers,
But the heaven was too far away from our reach,
Yet I closed my oblivion eyes to preach.
For us to meet in another life,
where we can atleast end the conversation we left behind.”