Presence.

“Son, will you ever leave me alone?” mom asked his small child.
“Never Mom! I’ll always be here for you no matter what happens.”replied a 6 years old innocent child.
“Son, will you ever leave me alone?” mom asked to his grown up child.
“Mom. I don’t have time for this right now can we talk later?”said the grown up.
“Hey I miss you.” leaving a message for his girlfriend.
“Son, can you get me a glass of water?”said his mom.
“Mom can’t you see I’m doing something? Take it yourself.” he said in an angry voice.
“I’ll can bring moons and stars for you.” texting his girlfriend.
His mom was ill and he was not at the hospital when he received a message that his mom passed away some time ago. A sense of regret and emotions ran through his veins and his face became all red and he started crying like a small kid lost in a fair searching for his parents. He wasn’t able to know what he had done. So many unsaid words. So many memories. He looked at his hands and imagined his mom holding them. The smell of her clothes was so irreplaceable now. Every second he felt a little more lonely on this planet filled with so many people and faces.
Why was he crying? When someone dies we cry like kids just because we know we can’t see them again anymore. Their irritating attitudes, or love and affection or their fighting, we won’t ever hear their voice. We can just turn the pages of a long picture book that can be touched every time we closed our eyes but can’t be relived again. They say people become stars when they die. I belive they are so right about it. Because you know the only thing constant in life is sun,moon and stars. Nothing else persists. Not me and not even you. We die with memories and give memories to others as well. What if I tell you tonight at 3 A.M. that “hey I’m leaving on a journey to meet god. What message you have for him.” You will be like are you mad or anything like that. But you know death is something more devastating. It comes without a call and it takes you away. You  know what’s going to happen? Maybe my childhood crush will marry someone else and I won’t be able to see her getting all dressed up in her most beautiful apparel. Maybe I won’t ever marry my best friend or anything like that. You can’t change anything right. You can’t.
His girlfriend left him. He was betrayed for lame reasons. Was he not loving her? Maybe. Maybe not. You know there’s something in life called presence. That’s felt when that something is completely absent from your life. We ignore things and situations even people just for something that’s never going to exist in our lives in future. Why it is said that live in the present. Because you never know what will happen the very next moment. You tell of all the things you can do for your lovers, can you do that for your parents. I mean aren’t they the one that should know about everything in your life. Are they your enemies? They care. They fight. They love. They love you. No matter what happens there are always things you can’t do without them. It’s been four years since I had my first heart break. Maybe it was a long distance relationship but it destroyed every other relationship I had with people around me. I saw my mom crying just because I didn’t say anything for days. I was becoming heartless. I was traumatized by the thoughts I couldn’t get over with. But one night I couldn’t hold it inside me. I went to my parents room and hugged mom and started crying. I cry a lot to be honest. But I don’t know what power my mom has to hold every piece of me in such a stable situation I feel nothing was ever wrong. I have fights with my parents. But I don’t know how much I love them. If there was anything that I could’ve had imagined of doing successfully I wish I can make them happy. I wish can stand high on their hopes. I want to be someone who they can be proud of. Everyone wishes that. But what if they aren’t here to see what you’ve done in your life.
Presence is something that loses its value with time, but absence is something that goes deeper and deeper as time passes by. Being totally shy with confessing my feelings to people I hardly speak to anyone I know. I want to say so many thing to everyone. I want to tell my best friend I love her so much, I want to travel places with my crush, I want to marry someone I love, I want to dance in rain with small children, I want to tell my parents I can’t survive a single day without them being around, I want to hug my mom and dad together when I’ve made them the proudest parents on this planet, and the listen it  goes on and on.
You never know what’s going to happen next. I get demoralized everytime but my mom dad are here with me. I’ve met the most amazing and strongest people in my life. They know they can do it without their mom or dad with them. To anyone who is reading this. I know you can do it. No matter what happens you know you can. Because your loved ones and your parents want you to see you at the highest peaks of successes. It’s fine to fight with people who mean a lot to you. But talk to them. Because you never know when is the last time you had a conversation with them.

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