Eutony.

IMG_20170327_230531_007.jpgThe cluster of letters in her name,
made an Eutony so great,
I guess it’s love to blame,
and her eyes what a threat,
that robbed my soul,
like a talisman so sweet,
Did we reach our final goal?
Or we lost sight of our fleet?
Eutony her name was so great,
Eutony her name will be
Forever engraved.
“Did you ever meet her again?” asked the small child.
“No my son, I guess things you love are the things that are the farthest from you own reach.” said the man.
“But why did you both parted your ways grandpa?”said the small child with a blank expression.
“We didn’t part our ways my dear. I just opened the cage she was suffocating in. I couldn’t see her in broken wings. She was meant to fly high in the skies, I set her free so that she comes back to me whenever she wants to.” old man said with a smile.
“But what let you love her so much?” asked the child.
“Do you love your god?” he said.
“course I do.” child smiled.
“How much?” he asked.
“This much” he said stretching his hands as much as he can.”But what god has to do with love grandpa?” child asked innocently.
“Don’t tell anyone your grandma had power of gods aswell. Her voice made people love her, and her eyes were like pearls. She was so graceful when she stood ,like everyone else disappeared from the room. She did magic. She spellbound me. I couldn’t see anyone when she was around me. She held me in her arms like she’ll never let me go. Every breath she took while she was sleeping was so mystical to me. I lost myself in her. She took all my broken pieces and made it hers.” he said with tears in his eyes.
“Grandpa why are you crying? Don’t cry please.” child said in a sad voice.
” No my child I’m not crying. These tears bring down happiness that I hold inside my heart.” he said wiping his tears.
“Do you still miss her?” child asked with hesitation.
“I do. I miss her like earth misses the moon. I miss her like summer misses the rain. I miss her like an orphan misses his parents. I miss her with all my heart, with every tear in my eyes and with every ounce of emotion that’s engraved inside my soul. I miss her fights and I miss her scoldings. I miss her ignoring my presence and I miss talking to her about nothing. I miss eating with her, and holding her. I miss her eyes that called my name in the morning and I miss us counting the stars. I miss running with her to our nowhere, and I miss the eutony in her name. I just miss her every time.” he said with a sigh.
Child hugged him tightly.”I also miss grandma.” holding his grandpa.

” They way she stood down the hallway,
I was watching her coming close to me today,
But ask she passed by me without saying a word,
I could sense my heart hitting a sword.
I wanted to kiss her slow,
But I didn’t want to let her go.
I want to keep her close,
but I didn’t want to cut her lose.
I wanted to keep her within,
But all I did was loving her doing a sin.

All over again.

Screenshot_20170705-013804_1.jpg

“Get over her. She’s just a girl. Many will come.” his friend said patting on his shoulder.
“Yeah she is JUST A GIRL.” he said with a smile.
“Am I saying something wrong?”his friend asked.
“NO did I say anything?” he said in a frustrated voice.
“Say then speak it out.” his friend said with a smile.
“You say move on? Move on from what? Lies,memories,broken promises, future planning, laughs, shared clothing, wild dreams, late night counting stars? Move on from what child like faces, running and jumping around,holding hands,kissing her forehead,loving her? She already did move on a long time ago. I remember her say I will be the one who will last longer in this relationship. Where is she now? All she gave me is lasting memories that will haunt me for a long time and a lasting voice that will eat up all the thoughts that I had, which will be questioning me, and my potential. Which will just leave me in silence for a little longer. I feel numb sometimes, not because I’ve seen to much of it but because every time I break I have to start all over again. By picking myself and dragging all those scattered pieces hoping for someone to come and help me joining them in perfect match and then breaking it again. I say moving on isn’t tough. What’s tough is holding on to those tiny specs of hopes that Rome in the darkness of your thoughts like fireflies. What’s tough is hearing your voice everyday and still trying not to love you anymore, What’s tough is acting like I don’t know you anymore and be fine with who I’m. What’s tough is being me again when all I was told was I’m more of you and less of me. I fixed you right? I reminded you of things that you love then why you hate me now? Why everyone says move on and why not hold on? Why we say you will find someone better when You know what’s best for you. Why people lie to each other and give each other false hopes about how life is so good on the other side. Why people don’t say “Hey stay there for her she needs you or Hey hold on she will come back soon”. Why can people who love each other never end up being together? Why we have to start all over again? From the beginning. We started with a wild-fire and ended up in ashes, being so vulnerable that slightest of winds blows away our hopes. Why I have to plan everything with someone else all over again when I know I won’t ever plan anything like I did it with you. Why it’s so tough to hold on? Why can’t we just be on each other’s side for the rest of our lives loving like kids and caring like grownups. Why we built castles of hopes on clouds of miseries? Why we become to sure about it not breaking like everything else. Why we always hope others to pick us up? Why is she not here to listen to all this? Why all she said was some words filled with utter hatred which she never meant to say and why I lost a small piece of me with every word that came out of her talking mouth. Why I have to start from the end again to write a new beginning? Why is she the only place that is the coldest yet the warmest place where my heart resides? I don’t want to start all over again. I want to feel the pain of watching her go in front of my eyes. I want her to see how much I want her. Maybe she will feel that I’m too weak to move on but maybe I’m just to strong to hold on. Hold on to those words that she uttered while being happy, holding on to her eyes that catch every falling breath of mine. I don’t want to start all over again just because I want to forget her. I don’t want to start all over again just to show her I can do it. I don’t want to start all over again because my world stops revolving around the galaxies of infinite possibilities and endless emotions when she isn’t around. Tell me it’s worth it won’t you? Tell me more reasons to give up and I’ll tell you twice as many to live it up to you cuz I don’t want it all over again. ” he said with a sigh.
“If I was her I would’ve had kept you forever.” his friend said poking him.
“yeah.” he smiled.

 

Presence.

“Son, will you ever leave me alone?” mom asked his small child.
“Never Mom! I’ll always be here for you no matter what happens.”replied a 6 years old innocent child.
“Son, will you ever leave me alone?” mom asked to his grown up child.
“Mom. I don’t have time for this right now can we talk later?”said the grown up.
“Hey I miss you.” leaving a message for his girlfriend.
“Son, can you get me a glass of water?”said his mom.
“Mom can’t you see I’m doing something? Take it yourself.” he said in an angry voice.
“I’ll can bring moons and stars for you.” texting his girlfriend.
His mom was ill and he was not at the hospital when he received a message that his mom passed away some time ago. A sense of regret and emotions ran through his veins and his face became all red and he started crying like a small kid lost in a fair searching for his parents. He wasn’t able to know what he had done. So many unsaid words. So many memories. He looked at his hands and imagined his mom holding them. The smell of her clothes was so irreplaceable now. Every second he felt a little more lonely on this planet filled with so many people and faces.
Why was he crying? When someone dies we cry like kids just because we know we can’t see them again anymore. Their irritating attitudes, or love and affection or their fighting, we won’t ever hear their voice. We can just turn the pages of a long picture book that can be touched every time we closed our eyes but can’t be relived again. They say people become stars when they die. I belive they are so right about it. Because you know the only thing constant in life is sun,moon and stars. Nothing else persists. Not me and not even you. We die with memories and give memories to others as well. What if I tell you tonight at 3 A.M. that “hey I’m leaving on a journey to meet god. What message you have for him.” You will be like are you mad or anything like that. But you know death is something more devastating. It comes without a call and it takes you away. You  know what’s going to happen? Maybe my childhood crush will marry someone else and I won’t be able to see her getting all dressed up in her most beautiful apparel. Maybe I won’t ever marry my best friend or anything like that. You can’t change anything right. You can’t.
His girlfriend left him. He was betrayed for lame reasons. Was he not loving her? Maybe. Maybe not. You know there’s something in life called presence. That’s felt when that something is completely absent from your life. We ignore things and situations even people just for something that’s never going to exist in our lives in future. Why it is said that live in the present. Because you never know what will happen the very next moment. You tell of all the things you can do for your lovers, can you do that for your parents. I mean aren’t they the one that should know about everything in your life. Are they your enemies? They care. They fight. They love. They love you. No matter what happens there are always things you can’t do without them. It’s been four years since I had my first heart break. Maybe it was a long distance relationship but it destroyed every other relationship I had with people around me. I saw my mom crying just because I didn’t say anything for days. I was becoming heartless. I was traumatized by the thoughts I couldn’t get over with. But one night I couldn’t hold it inside me. I went to my parents room and hugged mom and started crying. I cry a lot to be honest. But I don’t know what power my mom has to hold every piece of me in such a stable situation I feel nothing was ever wrong. I have fights with my parents. But I don’t know how much I love them. If there was anything that I could’ve had imagined of doing successfully I wish I can make them happy. I wish can stand high on their hopes. I want to be someone who they can be proud of. Everyone wishes that. But what if they aren’t here to see what you’ve done in your life.
Presence is something that loses its value with time, but absence is something that goes deeper and deeper as time passes by. Being totally shy with confessing my feelings to people I hardly speak to anyone I know. I want to say so many thing to everyone. I want to tell my best friend I love her so much, I want to travel places with my crush, I want to marry someone I love, I want to dance in rain with small children, I want to tell my parents I can’t survive a single day without them being around, I want to hug my mom and dad together when I’ve made them the proudest parents on this planet, and the listen it  goes on and on.
You never know what’s going to happen next. I get demoralized everytime but my mom dad are here with me. I’ve met the most amazing and strongest people in my life. They know they can do it without their mom or dad with them. To anyone who is reading this. I know you can do it. No matter what happens you know you can. Because your loved ones and your parents want you to see you at the highest peaks of successes. It’s fine to fight with people who mean a lot to you. But talk to them. Because you never know when is the last time you had a conversation with them.

 Did i ever tell you. 

“Hey, I haven’t heard from you for a long time. Where are you!? “, he texted her. 

It’s been two months since they last met. She was his best friend. He had something deep for her which she never realized. They both talked like they’ve never seen each other. With same enthusiasm and joy. But everyone said she used to talk with everyone like this. So he accepted the reality and buried down his fantasies. 

“Hey. Are you there?! “he texted again. 

” hello? “he typed. 

He was engulfed with bad thoughts. He was not sure what she was up to. He was worried. It didn’t take him long to loose his mind and he began to cry. He was not sure what was happening to him. The thought of her was all over him.  He realized he had so many unsaid things that he wanted to say to her. He was tortured by the thought of never seeing her. Two days went away. It was time when summer breaks were almost over. Out of the blues he received a text message from her mother. 

“We are getting shifted to a different place in couple of days. Do visit us. ” flashed on his phone. 

“I’ll come today.”    he texted with lot of hesitation. 

“Sure. Come over to our place by 6.” A reply blinked on his phone. 

Initial thoughts were what all I can say to her. I’ll see her for the last time. Can I tell her what I feel. He was panicking. He was sweating and breathing faster with every passing minute. 

I’ll write. “what?!”  he said to himself.  “That’s the only way.” he said again with a sigh. 

He took his pen and started.. 

My dear best friend,

Its been soo many long years of us fighting,  crying, singing,  dancing, and being together. But did I ever tell you that maybe we had something special. I mean look at me. I blush every time I see you. I don’t feel like being myself when you touch me. I realize that everytime we don’t talk I want to talk to you even more. Do you have things like these as well? Childhood dream of all fellowmates of mine. You ruled things. And I was like look she’s my friend. I’m on the way to ruin my friendship but I guess it’s worth it. Because you gave me memories I can’t dream of but the world I have in my mind should be known to you as well. You taught me how to live in details. You showed me how fearless and amazing life is. You made me believe in myself. What you did to me was what love does to others. Did I ever tell you that your penguin like walk makes me love you even more. The way you beat me everytime I’m sad. Everytime you tease me just to make me feel more pathetic. You know everything still act unknown just to make me think you don’t know. Did I ever tell you how strong and beautiful you look when you debate on some topic. I’ve seen galaxies in your eyes and whirlwinds in your mind. How differently elegant you are. Did I tell you I will always love the “carefree”  version of you. Did I tell you how long my nights be when I don’t talk to you on calls. Did I tell you how good my day goes when I see you. Did I tell you, that you are like a soul to this  dead. Did I tell you I’d rather love talking to you for million years rather than  accepting all the riches of the world. Did I ever tell you that Ill always be here, and I’ll never give up on you like everyone else did.  You can mend a broke heart just by your words and you can make it bleed as well. I’m not giving you the power which you already had. I’m just telling you that this power will always be with you. 

All I wanted to tell you was be here for someone like  me because if not me maybe there will always be a person  you won’t ever see. 

With love 

Your best friend. 

Did he ever meet her? Was the letter sent to her?  Did she read it with tears in her eyes and gave him a hug or she just walked away. I wished they did. I wish he told her all of it. I hope he would’ve never left her like everyone else did. 

Maybe he did and maybe they are still together. Or maybe they never existed Like you and me. “Don’t ever tell her these things, maybe she’ll realize it herself.” said the voices. 

Why I write. 

Do you know me?  I ask myself. I shout to myself “Do I know myself?”. I imagine things, I fall for small efforts, I hopelessly watch ROMANTICS, I believe in love stories, I believe in life after death, I cry out loud, I hug mom when I’m sad, I assume things before they happen, I wait.  I ALWAYS WAIT. Do I know why? I don’t know why but I had this feeling when I see you.  You ,”YES YOU!”  make my day better. I’m a paradox. At times I don’t even know who I’m. I want to change. I want to live, I want to love and I want to be loved by the same person. I’m tried. Of assuming things. Running to places full of different faces with familiar voices. I want to go out and see how people love, laugh, live, dance, sing, enjoy life and be happy. I live in far away from people I love because they say I’m a distance person. Maybe I’m. I’m a distance person because I fall, I die everytime I open up myself. To people who don’t care. To faces,to those searching faces. Didn’t I hold your hand once and you said stop my ex is looking. It took me my entire soul to take your hand and all you did was say stop it. I love this distance because I will believe in every word you say and I believe  you mean what you say. I don’t have to see your face and realize you never loved me. I’ll always have to stare at those words you once said about loving me and it will all happen again. 

That’s why I WRITE. I write because my words are a home to my thoughts. My words are soul to my dead mind. My words are soaked in the love I never got from you. My words are you. I love my words and I love you aswell. I write because right now I’m too weak to make a change. I write because my words give me the power I never believed I had. I write because I’m the hero of my story and there are happy endings to it. I don’t have to run because I have a place to stay. In my words I feel Alive. In my words there is a sense of change that I don’t feel around me. In my words I feel that I am the one who can make you smile. In reality we don’t even see other. I write because of this distance. I Write because I want you to be happy. I write because I want everyone else to be happy. I write because these thoughts never stop. I write because there are no such combinations of words that can define how adorable you are. I write because I want to tell you that you are important. I write because I don’t see faces. I see tried souls that are fighting. I write because you matter, to me, and to everyone. I write because there’s a black sky in your eyes filled with stars that brighten up my heart that I can’t ever tell you. I write because I can’t talk to you face to face. I write because I forget things as I speak. I write because I’m childish and I carve for attention. I write because I want you to notice me. I write because I feel like there are things you should know about yourself. I write because I want a source to convey my gratitude to you. I want to write because of all those unsaid words that I have in my heart. I write because you mean worlds to me. I write to tell me that “don’t give up on her she needs you.” I write because you are beautiful. I write because I want to yell at you and I want to tell you that I’m not like others. I write because looking at you hurts me. I write because I feel sad seeing this distance between  us. I write because I can’t hold on to things. Write because things don’t work out for me everytime. I write because I don’t want to give up on you. I write because I feel. I write because there is this universe filled with unsolved mysteries yet the only mystery I want to solve is YOU. 

Honest. 

So do you think that honesty changes people? 

For me it surely does change our life. How you perceive it and how you lived after listening to those honest words. Words that destroyed things. Things that are going good are ruined just by mere words. How can you not be honest to someone you love?  I wish I was that honest enough. Didn’t I made you realize that when I was I saying “I don’t love you anymore and it’s over” I was lying. Didn’t you feel that I lied everytime I smiled saying I don’t love you anymore. The feels. It hurted. It killed my soul.  I wish I had honestly told you that maybe I can’t live without you and you are the only thing that I crave for. Wasn’t I honest when I was with you so as to make you realize that maybe I was lying when I said all those words I didn’t say.

“It’s not working out for us. Sorry.”

“I hate you. Please go away. ”

” I don’t miss you now.” 

“Your existence hardly matters. “

You said all these words. Didn’t you? 

Where you honest? Did you mean what you said. I didn’t. I wish you were not honest. I wish you lied to me. I wish you held on to us. Does honesty hurts? It does. You can’t keep you promise just on a thread of lie. I can’t. I won’t lie to you. I never did. Apart from when we both were fighting to prove each other superior in loving each other and when I saw you happy with someone else. Do we have to prove each other that we loved? I wish I was in love with your presence rather than falling for your absence everyday. Your absence. Like mist surrounds me. See what being honest did to us. Did our past made us what we are. Or we were too sure of breaking up.  I still feel we held on to that small bit of hopes we had. Wish we didn’t give up on out present rather than expecting a good future. We were honest in present. We lied to our past. We lied to our future. We were lying. We where lying to our presence and lying to our memories. Were we ever honest? I wasn’t. I lied saying  I didn’t love you. I kept quite. 

I wish we were honest. To our memories, to our love and to our feelings. Rather than lying our feelings out. 

About time.

f41170ceb676bcd9c714627e7c1047b6How fast can time change everything. Did we change or we just adapt to the situations around us. Sometimes I do feel like calling someone out and tell them “Hi! You are damn important to me.” But I can’t because time changed it all. Why I still look at those screenshots I took and curse myself for not stopping you from leaving my side. Did I stop making efforts or time just changed it all for me. How I became such a deep thinker when the only thing that went through my mind was how to out shine and score good in my exams. Did I just lose my childhood in the big fat expectations of this world. Or did I just loose myself in order to prove my worth to you? Time heals all right. But what if time is the thing that is making all your cuts deep scars. I wasn’t like this. I started hating myself in the process of loving you. The pieces of me dripped off my hands and I couldn’t do anything just stare. Did time change or did I adapt to what it made me. Didn’t I try to convince myself from that day when you said you are in love with someone. I tried to tell myself that it’s not worth fighting. Fighting a war with your thoughts and the reality. Do the stars loose their brightness with passing time? Do people really change or they just pretend to. I haven’t changed from the day I realized you went with someone else. I was trying back then. I try still. I fall for yours words back then, I fall for them now as well. I wish time changed me like it did to people around me. The fights, the silence, the dreams.

I stopped telling stories to people around me. I stopped talking to people. I watched them go and tell me to stay there. I watched them laugh and live without me. Was it time that did all that damage? When she was the one the promised me to stay there was did she never walk down that path ever again? Did she loose her path? Did she forgot that someone is waiting down there?  People say miracles do happen if you believe in them. Miracle happen every day when I get to see your face or get to have a conversation with you. I realized that I turned out to be the exact desperate, Idiot that you always hated. You told me how guys texted you or pleaded you to be friends with them and how much you hated that. I became one of those guys. Time did that?! or it was just me that is to be blamed for not moving on from that very day. Would I be a better person? should I leave it to time and just stand there or should I fight for what I want and get it? Will I ever get my reasons to just leave the way I’m traveling right now and go to a place where there is no existence of the feelings I have for you. Will time make me forget you? or will time make me carve for you. Will time ever let us be together or the moment we had was more than enough. I want answers from You. Someone who cares but doesn’t care. Someone who loves but never loved. Someone who hides the tears in the brightest smiles. Someone I love the most. Someone as important as time. Someone like you maybe.

Continue reading “About time.”

Expressions


Do you see yourself often?

Do you see what you feel in your eyes?

Do you touch yourself and feel That every ounce of your body belongs to her?

Do you feel your heart beats getting faster everytime her scent is around?

Do you feel like holding her close to you But you can’t because she’s like mist.

Don’t  you want these expressions For forever?

This feeling. This touch. This moment. This everyday struggle just to live your entire day in short span of time. Every bit of feeling flowing inside of your heart in that moment. These expressions.

Her words. The way she rotates her eyes in a curious way or the way she stands up on her toes like a little kid just to see what’s infront of her. The way she jumps around or the way her lips go a little bit sidewards when she smiles. The way her eyes shirks when she’s too happy or the way she tumbles down when she laughs too hard. When she acts childish just to grab your attention or how comfortable she Makes you feel. How she sneeks From the edge of he door. Or how she smiles when you make her feel something special. Or the way comes back the entire corridor just to pass a Hi to you.  How you wait everyday just to feel it all over again knowing that it’s not worth it. These expressions. That last forever. That carve inside me. That make me feel the nostalgia. That Make me LIVE  and that make me DIE. These expressions.

The distance, the feeling that you don’t know. The expression of saying it all and saying nothing. The expression of walking down the road all alone when all you had was her and all  she was,  was a myth. A story that your mind created. An illusion of you thoughts and the shouts of your tears. The longing of the days when you had so much to say but couldn’t say it to anyone. The expression of the wait of her calls. The expression of her eyes when she didn’t bother your existence. When she felt like she couldn’t  hold it but held on. When she wanted to say it to you but kept silent. The expression of her sound that echos in those silent corridors of your abandoned heart. The expression of her voice saying your name again and again. The expression of she grabbing you hand and running around. The expression of her turning around and never looking back. The expression of the nights and the expression of the fights. The expression of the joys and the expression of the broken toys. Expression Of Her Touch And The Expression Of Her Holding You.

SHE WAS AN EXPRESSION. THE FACT THAT MY MIND DENIED BUT HEART ACCEPTED. AN EXPRESSION THAT MY EYES NEVER FORGETS. Maybe You can Find A Way to Get A Closer Look To How Beautiful Her Expression Is If You Ever Meet Her.

BUT.. Shhhhh

don’t fall for her in the process.

Lost words.

“So how’s you been?”she said with a smile.” I’m not fine I need a saving this time said the inner voice.  “I’m fine”  he said with a gesture. “why you act so weird these days. It’s like  you never acted this strange.” Weird feeling you know. Right now I’m falling for your smile. Your way of standing. Everything about you is making me speechless said my inner voices. “Yeah I’m not feeling well these days. So acting a bit weirdly. ” “Can we talk more we haven’t had a conversation from a long time.” she said in the most sweetest of her voice. I can talk like this for eternity. Don’t you see it in my eyes. I crave for your presence. How can you not see anything. “Yes,  we can talk I’m free for a while.” he said in a hesitating voice. “So you seeing out someone? Or having a crush on someone?”  she said in the normal way making it much more harder for me.  Yes, I’ve had a crush on you since I was in my senses about love. I had a crush on your mind and a crush on your eyes. I had a crush on your crazy thoughts and your late night talks said my inner voices. “No! I mean no I don’t have a crush on anyone. Yes I wanted to talk to this girl but then I gave up.” he said to change the topic instantly. “So how’s your boyfriend I heard you had a breakup. He was a nice guy”  he said.  “Hmm”  she said. “What I can get out of this hmm of yours?”  I don’t want to talk about this but I can’t just let go of this moment said my inner voice. “Hey I wanted to ask you if you are free later tonight we’ll talk” she said timidly. Yes! I’m always free for you said my inner voices. “okay you’ll call though.”he said “Of course I will. I’ll go my car has arrived. It was nice talking to you.” she said with the biggest of smile. She was always this way. Don’t go said me inner voices.  “bye”  he said.

The worst feeling you know comes when you have soo much to speak but you can’t utter a single word. I mean days and nights thinking about something to happen and not doing anything when that thing is finally infront of you. Its haunting. Maybe there’s much more to life and maybe everyone says it’s soo easy to move on even if it was a dream all this time but can’t be life simple. Atleast for an Introvert who never spoke a word to her love,  can’t she see that she is wanted in his life more that anything else. Yes she is running with someone else right now but maybe she isn’t even sure why she is this way. You know I’ve not loved her since I was born but I loved her since the day my love senses were born.

Her slightest of touches and heaviest of breaths. I don’t fall for her presence. I love her absence. The way she takes her eyes of me when she knows I’ve been looking at her. To make me feel that I’m not wanted in her life anymore. That’s the beauty of the moment is. I can fast forward it all but I was always play it in slow motion. Those searching eyes never found a traveler until you laid your home in it. The moment of impact. The time when everything changes. When stars guide you to her and she guides you home. I don’t fall for her sometimes. But I do fall for her everytime.

Faces I’ve seen so many,

Never found someone like you, Irony.

The nights I’ve lost myself in,

The nights you came and saved me like a gin.

Magic is something you have a Mastery in,

Magic so fascinating that makes me love you from deep within.

Love stories. 

What a love story means to you? A boy and girl, falling in love with each other, boy making it up to the girl. This is how a normal love story starts

 right?  Boy proposing a girl and she saying a yes probably. What if my thoughts about love stories are different. What if I’m a boy that’s probably never going to approach and tell you how I feel. What if a person falls in love with his/her best friend. You’ll say look he’s talking about best friend again. But it’s not true. Not all love stories are same. You should fight for what you want and they say that soul mates always find a way back to themselves. So it’s like let’s take romeo and Juliet as an example. A magical love story about how things go wrong and everytime romeo comes to save the day. What if romeo is lost himself. Why doesn’t Juliet gives it a try?  Why doesn’t Juliet save the day. Because we think that a boy will do it. It took me 6 years to tell her that I like her. (that too on a phone call, calling it I really liked her even though I liked her everyday) Why don’t people make it simple. Why ruin it for people like me who still believe that love exists somewhere and not a mere fantasy. 

There’s this song I really like by one of my favorite singers.

“Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. “

What if that’s different in my case 

” Juliet save me I’ve been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come.”

What if you are blamed for something you never did. Not blamed basically but still. Why is it that no one comes to save the day and you have to be your own savior. What if you’ve been fighting a fight that was long lost. Never fall for your best friend. Even though that sounds crazy but it sucks unless and until you plan to live your entire life with them. You loose someone that literally knows all you ups and downs and secrets. Most importantly you loose your best place to cry on. You loose a good decision maker, a fighter for you, a well wisher. Actually this list is never ending. 

I still believe in fighting for your loved ones. But what if all reasons you had are gone. Will you move on or still fight for those tiny  bits and pieces of memories you had. When all the hopes you had were named something materialistic. Something you never wanted to happen. Will you give up? 

Because I’d been told about moving on everytime. But do our parents move on and give up after a hectic fight or something really bad. I guess everyone has their off days. Everyone does something wrong. What’s the point in holding onto it then? If everyone moved on then there’s nothing like perfect stories even with all the imperfections. I admit that I’m a hopeless romantic. And I still believe it will happen somewhere in parallel world. But my mind Damn!  It never stops cursing me for my attempts to be a hero in her life. Actually I’m no one right now. But then it makes me think move on or stay?  Why are you giving up on something you wanted for a lifetime. Why are you just not trying to make it happen. Will she ever save my day. Like I tried to do. Dilemma so deep,  I’ve been fighting it for days now. 

“Never leave romeo he never has to be alone. “

Maybe sometimes even romeo needs a saving for his Juliet. But what if it never takes place. Well happy endings do happen maybe not in my case.